What is the difference between being comfortable and being complacent? As I sit on the patio at this coffee shop, I find myself with more questions than answers.
All my life I've worked towards a single goal, my biggest dream. After having achieved it, I found that there had been a lot I hadn't anticipated. I was no stranger to hard work. That was not an issue. But after 25 years of pursuing the same things, I started to question if what I was doing was even healthy.
I think the rudest awakening was when I realized that I no longer viewed myself as capable. Trapped in a world that I had created for myself, I started to lose my joy. My self. I looked in the mirror every morning and could only see things that I wanted to fix. Something that used to help me cope with my problems had become one of them.
However, I am slowly coming to grips with my own control over my life. As a human being, I am able to make my own decisions. I am trapped no where and the only one making me feel that way is myself.
I had a dream.
And while that dream and love is still there, the way that it looks is evolving. I don't know what I'm doing, or even where I'm going. But I think, honestly, that that's kind of beautiful. I can do anything. Be anyone. Start over or even just build in a different direction.
You don't always knock your house down to improve it. Sometimes it just needs some renovations to make it livable. It gets messy and can often not even look like a house anymore. Yet when it is finished, it is stronger and more beautiful than before.
You are no longer your seven year old self. Your wants and desires may be different. You are allowed to change your mind. Your life is YOURS and you deserve the choice of what to do with it.
I pray that we never do anything just because it is comfortable and safe; being those things doesn't automatically make something healthy or edifying.
Don't be complacent because you don't think you deserve more.
You are invaluable.
And you are capable of anything you put your mind to.
😊😊😊
ReplyDelete